Hey, I'm an equal opportunity employer...
After spending the last 2 weeks hitting the books hard and pumping out presentations and writing, I've noticed that I really could use a reproductive laborer. You know, someone to take care of the dishes that are walking out of the sink, restore my floors to their original color, make the bathroom useable again. Or maybe more basic tasks - like meal preparation and trash removal. I mean, I really need someone to take care of the fact that the only socks that I have left are those with cartoon characters or no-slip grippers on them.
But I also know that as a student, I really cannot afford to pay an empoyee a living wage, provide health insurance, contribute to a retirement account, etc. Hiring a personal assistant, or even a part-time maid, is out of the question. So, I asked myself, how did all of those successful academics do it back in the day? And then it hit me - many of them had wives! The question then became, how can I get myself a house husband or a house wife?
So, in case you are interested, I am currently accepting applications. I really just need someone to manage the day-to-day stuff so I don't have to step away from theorizing to figure out what type of meal one prepares with soy milk, mustard, walnuts, an apple, chocolate chips, and some frozen kale. Which is something of a theoretically based task in itself.
...Or I could just stop showering, cut the nonsense, and get back to work!
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